Not going to lie, pre having Luna Rose I don’t think I ever had a true appreciation for a new mom and how tough it is especially as selfishly I was so desperate to meet the new born and see the new mama.
I never once brought food, I never once offered to bring anything round BUT I don’t think I ever over stated my welcome, maybe I did?! And I always asked ‘what can I do to help’
Looking back I feel pretty bad now and I would definitely be different in future similar situations.
As I can only talk on my personal experience I will say the first couple of days were just so surreal. I was in a crazy amount of pain, couldn’t walk confidently, had absolutely no clue what I was doing with LR, I was finding breastfeeding pretty difficult and I was beyond tired! I never thought about how the mom was feeling before.
I LOVED seeing visitors but gosh I got tired quickly and I found breastfeeding awkward as I wasn’t sly getting LR comfortably latched on without flashing!! It’s 100% got easier, but not because I’m not tired, because some days I feel like a zombie but because I know LR so much better. At the start I felt so frustrated, emotional and useless!! And when you are breast feeding unfortunately you are the sole feeder!!
So, It’s different when you have people staying with you especially with a new born. As we are both from UK our families are still over there – they are making a huge effort to come over while I’m off on maternity leave to meet LR. We are too excited especially to spend family time but as a new mom of a new born who is still finding her feet what are the expectations?!
My mom came out, at the end of the trip she said she didn’t feel like she was helpful and ideally it would have been better if I had been upfront about what I needed help with. My personality is to get on with stuff, when someone asks for help 98% of the time I will refuse and say thank you. It’s awkward telling someone to do house work, or make dinner especially when they are essentially on holiday right?!
I think the main things which new moms want is quality time with baby – I have 12 weeks total – most of that is shared with visitors – so to have less to do round the house and not running around to actually embrace baby is priceless. OR hold baby while I run around doing house work to keep on top of it all!
Take baby, even if mom protests and make her go to bed! I regret not napping and catching up with sleep. I’ve napped twice during the last 6 weeks … I also had a couple of emotional breakdowns which could have been avoided by napping!! Moms – go to sleeeep!
My husband and I have made sure we food prepped to make it easier and also help save $$ – naturally this is used when guests are here so new moms need help to keep their ‘stash’ topped up. I wanted to prevent my hubs from making numerous trips to go food shopping!
I’m 6 Weeks in to mom life and I have a good routine now, well semi good! I lay out everything I need the night before, I top up changing stations, make sure house work and washing is all up to date and done, always looking to make it easier the next morning – as a mom it’s important to voice your routines/schedule as your guests aren’t mind readers! Plan the next day activities the day before so everyone is on board.
As a guest it’s good to get situated with nearest shops and transport to see how you can assist so mama isn’t hiking baby around – after spending time in the galleria yesterday it was 100 times more stressful than before, and we all know galleria is a shit show!!
What experiences have you had with new born and guests? What tips would you pass on?
I cannot wait to show off our home, our house, our baby cub and spend quality time with everyone as I know we won’t get this time back – but I realized how inconsiderate I was before with this topic and it’s made me think twice! Feel like a changed lady (only with this!!)