When you think about it, it’s pretty simple when it comes to being in a stable, solid, happy relationship. Think of your friendships, when your girlfriends piss you off you either speak to them about it, distance yourself or forget about it and move on, when you are sad/worried/happy you want to tell your besties! Your favourite thing to do like a hobby or item you just bought you cannot wait to tell them about it and share your experiences!
For some reason, as soon as you put a label on it, whether it’s boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife people seem to look into things more complicated, more so than they need to be! Trust me if my husband is getting on my nerves I voice it, and when I’m annoying him when he’s just literally walked in the door he will tell me to back off and give him space! I don’t get mad or upset, I respect his point and I count down on the clock 5 minutes then I bounce back into the room again!
Now, relationships, along with friendships are all about compromise , trying new things you might not have done in the past and also about doing things that make YOU happy! Relationships are special things and we need to nurture them and keep working on them.
Here are a couple of points I always try to remind myself when it comes to my relationship, they might be of use to yourselves 🙂
We all know this, but what you might not know is that even the smallest things make a big difference.
•Couples who make important decisions or argue not through texting but by actually talking are better off. Don’t hide behind technology! I deal with things by taking myself out of the emotional situation, thinking about it from a different perspective then talking about it.
•Did you know, people in successful relationships talk to each other a whole lot, i.e. five hours more a week than those in less happy relationships – I’m not going to lie I tell my husband EVERYTHING! Someday I’m too excited to go home and tell him what’s happened, or about something I’ve read, or event I’ve gone to, basically every single detail! Now, I won’t lie my husband doesn’t talk nearly as much as me (It could be because I don’t give him the option…. ) BUT I know when he needs to talk to me he will, if it’s important I will know about it!
•It’s OK to get mad at each other but those who are honest about their feelings from the start of a relationship are better off long-term.
•Happy couples try to defuse tension and fights by showing humour or affection or compromising. Unhappy couples? They criticize, roll their eyes, and name call – I’m pretty sure we have all been victim of eye rolling or fighting! We are all human, and I don’t think any couples out there can say hand on heart they don’t fight or get mad with one another, but it’s how you come back from that fight.
Do things together and separately
Happiness leads to more happiness, right?!
•Laugh with each other! That’s what happy couples do. My husband is one of my best friends, and that is the foundation to every good relationship.
•Pairs who have positive interactions every day are more likely to win at life. Examples? Cooking together; giving a compliment; showing you care by leaving a nice note – now, we work together so I’m not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing?! But we have ‘time together’ such as cinema time, playing tennis, going to gym etc then we have things we do with our friends, like fishing, hunting (obv not me!) and I love meeting my friends to work out, go for walks, coffee etc
•Sharing a new experience together, be it big (taking a trip) or small (taking a walk around the neighbourhood).
Be each other’s cheer leaders!
The lesson: we all want to feel celebrated, but especially from our partners.
•Celebrate each other’s successes, whether they are small or big!
•And those who not only congratulate (“Good job, honey!”) but also ask questions and relive the experience with their partner are much happier!
How many times have you said, “Maybe tomorrow night”? Stop that right now!
•Is this a surprise? Having sex once a week as opposed to once a month increases relationship happiness.
•Now everyone is different, but you need to ensure you are connecting physically with your partner – keep that spark alive!